Saturday, August 23, 2014

Well, that was fitting...

After my first blog post in a long time, I went straight to church. 
The message addressed exactly what I was struggling with. 

August 23

It's been a long time since I've written anything. We've gone through so much and although I typically write the good, bad and ugly, I've been at a place where I just do not have the strength to hear the feedback.

I've been struggling a lot. When I write I feel so much better. Like I got it all "out." My husband is deployed and we don't live near any family at all so there's not many opportunities to confide in loved ones. I know it's annoying to listen to me feel frustrated and I am in a place where the pile up is so huge that I have a hard time even thinking clearly or being "fun." I've bottled it all up and I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't write something.

So here I am.

We are in the process of trying to adopt two beautiful children from China. We are completely emotionally invested. We've been working night and day for about 5 months now and we have many months still to go.

There's a possibility that China could tell us no. This is really hard. Each day that goes on, we (my children included) become just that much more attached. I'm scared that they will have their hearts broken. Again.

We are also worried about coming up with adoption fees.

I am worried about a million other really big things in our lives right now.

I'm scared.

I keep wanting to stop it all. To run away and say "JUST KIDDING! I didn't really mean it when I said I wanted to take a giant leap of faith." For the last two months I kept going only because the energy it would require to say "never mind" would be more than continuing the way things are.

When I really break it all down, my worries come down to not wanting to feel sad, heartbroken and more grief. I don't want my kids to feel that again. I don't want to face the world and say "I failed everyone." I don't want to waste time in getting these two precious children into families.

They deserve better.

Today we had a friend donate to our adoption. Completely out of the blue. Someone who is kind and sweet, but I never would have imagined in a million years that she would feel that she should donate to our adoptions. I am in shock. Humbled. Thankful. I still cannot find the words to express what that means to me.

The rest of life is weighing heavily on my shoulders. At the same time, I'm so thankful for the gift we received from her today. I want to make sure our adoption goes smoothly so I don't let her down (she never made a single comment about this). I'm just piling that on...

Then, I realized that I cannot control it all. I can't control if China will like us or not. I cannot control much at all. What I can do is prayerfully walk in the path I feel I should be in this moment. I can be faithful to listening to the Holy Spirit. That is actually the only thing I CAN do.

Today, as I look back at the last few years and all of the heartache and grief, I am seeing it from a different point of view. I used to beat myself up day after day (there will be many days that I still do that I'm sure), but today, when I think of our journey, I know that in each step, I have prayed, I have tried to do what I felt God wanted me to do even if it didn't make sense to me. I have walked down a hard path, but in each of those moments I was trying to do my best. Trying to take a step out in faith for God.

I wish that God's Will and my happiness were one and the same. They are not. He has a bigger picture. He sees where this will all lead. I am only here to walk the walk. I mean it when I say "My His will be done." Honestly, that is a scary thing. I am making myself vulnerable for the hard, ugly, heartbreaking stuff. I'm also opening myself up to the amazing, incredible, redeeming stuff too. I don't know which way this is going to go. All I know is that, today, I am trying and overriding the fearful and terrified part of me to face my fears to see what can be there.

No matter what happens in the future, today, I can say that I am right where I am supposed to be.

Heading to church right now for the first time in weeks. I need it today.

“Your current circumstances are part of your redemption story He is writing.” 
~ Evinda Lepins

Monday, August 18, 2014

Watoto, Sevenly and Uganda

This week's Sevenly Campaign is so great!  :) For each item sold, Sevenly will donate $7 to the cause. Just to make things a little more super awesome, they also will send me 12% of each order sold! :) So super wonderful. :) This is a little way to help with our adoption fees. <3 

Here's this week's cause info. :) 

The Problem

In sub-Saharan Africa, the HIV/AIDS pandemic has orphaned more than 14 million children. According to World Hunger Facts 2009, 11 million children die each year before their 5th birthday. More than 20,000 children have been abducted - forced to serve as child soldiers in Uganda.

The Solution

Watoto is positioned to rescue an individual, raise each one as a leader in their chosen sphere of life so that they in turn will rebuild their nation. Watoto is not an orphanage in the traditional sense. Real homes are built to cater for children who have lost their family or are vulnerable for many reasons. Each Watoto family consists of a mother who takes care of up to 8 children.

About The Charity

Watoto is an holistic care programme that was initiated as a response to the overwhelming number of orphaned children and vulnerable women in Uganda, whose lives have been ravaged by war and disease.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Sevenly - Mocha Club

This week at Sevenly...  AMAZING!  LOVE IT!!! As Sevenly affiliates, we receive 12% of all orders placed through this link. The charity still gets their full amount. ;)   :) :) :)

The Problem

When you think of Africa, the word "orphan" often comes to mind. It seems like a daunting challenge to tackle. But one woman - Irene Tongoi, stay-at-home-mom and educator - found a way to change the future of the orphans in her local community. She is the founder of the New Dawn Educational Centre, which serves children in the Huruma and Githogoro slums of Nairobi. One quarter of New Dawn's students are orphans. another 60 percent only have one parent. They have little to no funds to contribute to their schooling. But thanks to Irene and these students' hard work, they can go to a high school that offers a caliber of education rarely accessed by children in slums, much less orphans. They are achieving high test scores, winning national essay contests and going on to college.

The Solution

This week, we are partnering with The Mocha Club to provide orphaned children and their peers with an education and daily meals. Providing education for a child can determine a completely new path for his or her life – and with your help, we can reverse the trends of injustice and poverty that lead to a lack of education in Africa. Mocha Club has worked alongside New Dawn's leadership for nearly 7 years, rallying to ensure that the school continues to offer high-quality education.

About The Charity

Mocha Club is a community of members who are passionate about making small sacrifices to create a big impact. By giving a small amount every month - the cost of a few mochas - these individuals come together to support the leaders in African communities whose ideas, strength and faith are truly transforming their communities. In the end, we strive for independent, sustainable efforts that originated right in the communities they serve.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Surfing and Autism! AWESOME!!!

Check out this week's campaign!!!

The Problem

People seem to have a lot of pre-conceived ideas about what kids with autism can or can't do. We're here to change those notions forever.

The Solution

Through the transformative experience of surfing, Surfers Healing attains greater mainstream acceptance for both the families of and the kids living with autism. Surfers Healing has spent the last fifteen years taking children with autism surfing. Our goal is to help foster the understanding and acceptance of autism.

About The Charity

With the help of incredible volunteers and a team of the most amazing surfers in the water, Surfers Healing is making a difference in the lives of families and kids living with autism. Last year we took out over 4,500 kids. Next year we plan to take out even more. Our Mission, with your help, is to keep our camps completely FREE.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community
 and as long as I live, 
it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. 
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, 
for the harder I work the more I live. 
~George Bernard Shaw

Friday, June 20, 2014

Jessie J - Price Tag (Uganda Cover)

Who is Sevenly?

Have you wondered who or what Sevenly is?!?! :) WE LOVE THEM! Watch this short video that shows exactly who they are. If you purchase from them through a link on this blog, we will get 12% of every purchase!!! So awesome! LOVE IT! :)

Monday, May 26, 2014

Sevenly UGANDA


If you buy through the links on my blog, we get 12% of sales!  :) :) :) 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Monday, March 24, 2014

Amazon - Shop through this link. ;)

"Our Starfish Story" is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to

Amazon - Shop. Connect. Enjoy. All from Earth's Biggest Selection.